Archive for the ‘Thanksgiving’ Category


Why do turkeys eat so little?
They’re always stuffed!

Why was the United Nations
worried when a waiter
dropped a platter of turkey?
It meant the fall of Turkey,
the ruin of Greece,
and the break-up of China.

Why were the cranberries red?
They saw the turkey dressing!

What type of key do
you use on Thanksgiving?
A tur-key!

What type of music
did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth ROCK!

What was the turkey doing in
the Thanksgiving Day Parade?
Play the drumsticks!

Why is turkey a good holiday food?
You can gobble it up!

How do you feel after
going to a Thanksgiving feast?

Why do turkeys go
gobble, gobble?
Because they never learned
their table manners!

Which side of a turkey
are the feathers on?
On the outside!

don’t forget to pass the riddles along
to your friends, family and co-workers

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What key has legs and can’t open doors?
A Turkey.

Gobbler said, “Doctor, help me! I can’t stop acting like a turkey!”
“I see,” said the doctor. “How long have you had this problem?”
“Let me think a second. Mom laid the egg in 1954…”

What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children?
If your father could see you now, he’d turn over in his gravy!

If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?

Why did the turkey cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.

If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
Their AGE

Why can’t you take a turkey to church?
Because they use such FOWL language

What are the feathers on a turkey’s wings called?
Turkey feathers

What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
The turkey trot

Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Yes – a building can’t jump at all

What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving

How can you make a turkey float?
You need 2 scoops of ice cream, some root beer, and a turkey

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play

What’s the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
The turKEY

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I’m stuffed!

Where did the first corn come from?
The stalk brought it

Why did the Indian chief wear so many feathers?
To keep his wigwam

What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
He had an arrow escape

How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore

Thanks, for a country where nobody is allowed to mind his own business. Thanks, for a nation of finks.
— William S. Burroughs, “A Thanksgiving Prayer”

Michael Dresser in his Baltimore Sun Paper’s wine column, Vintage Point, writing about the difficulty of recommending wine for Thanksgiving dinner writes:-
Thanksgiving is America’s national chow-down feast – the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. (In France, by contrast there are three such days: Heir, Aujourd’hui and Demain.)

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