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Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, “Remember those headaches
I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.”

“No more headaches?” the husband asks, “What happened?”

His wife replies, “Margie referred me to a hypnotist. He told me to
stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat ‘ I do not
have a headache; I do not have a headache, I do not have a
headache.’ It worked! The headaches are all gone.”

The husband replies, “Well, that is wonderful.”

His wife then says, “You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball of
fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the
hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?” The husband
agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his
clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts
her on the bed and says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.” He goes
into the bathroom and comes back A few minutes later and jumps into
bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, “Boy, that was wonderful!”

The husband says, “Don’t move! I will be right back.”

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even
better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is
spinning.

Her husband again says, “Don’t move, I’ll be right back.”

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly
follows him and there, in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the
mirror and saying, “She’s not my wife. She’s not my wife. She’s not
my wife!”

His funeral services will be held on Monday.

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