Archive for the ‘Headlines’ Category


Polyphonic telephone 32 times more annoying than monophonic equivalentsLong admired hero turns out to be asshole in real life

Half-time entertainment politely endured by crowd

Boyfriend contrives to tiff solely to illicit make up sex

Whoopee cushion amuses Rob Schnieder for hours

Alcoholic horse breaks into decanter

Man impatient after 30 second wait at McDonalds

Rock star declares love for 118 cities during tour

Father with 6 daughters was clearly trying for a boy

9 yo appalled by 7 yo immaturity

Chernobyl resident still waiting on all clear to leave basement.

Witty banner outside church converts atheist
Man who knows a lot about art still unsure what he likes

Dentist’s jokes fail despite laughing gas
Man spends entire safety demonstration wondering what the hostess would look like naked

Caterpillar having mid life crisis buys red sports cocoon

Call placed on hold not actually all that important to call centre

Mc Donald’s conducts survey that finds there are more pickles on the walls that were actually eaten

Soccer hooligan awards himself free kick at opposition fan

Suspected chemical facility in Iraq turns out to be amphetamines lab

George W Bush disappointed by poor construction of effigy burned by mob

Much more work clearly put into video clip than song

Mans bookshelf full of books he never finished

Drag queen adds third pout to devastating arsenal of comical facial expressions

J. K. Rowling secretly busting to write romance novel

Actual “frat house” party fails miserably in comparison to “Animal House”.

Snooty restaurant sacks waiter for being polite

Garbage collectors make as much noise as possible at 5am

Pot belly comes with convenient love handles

Violent movie director blames actions on serial killers

Woman selling roses at restaurant not even trying anymore

Car still broken down after man spends 10 mins looking under bonnet

Current Miss Universe devastated that world peace not occurring on her watch

Chinese restaurant tea pot designed to spill tea all over table

American, Australian & Englishman still in bar waiting for something funny to happen

Sore losing trivial pursuit player claims capital of Iceland highly objective

Sniffer dog trained to detect drugs, scrotums

Butler does it

Filmmaker discovers Stephen King novel not yet turned into movie

T shirt slogan ironic

Couple go to mud patch for dirty weekend

Breakfast radio team clearly nursing killer hangovers

Instant soup only needs hot water to taste repulsive

Plastic recycler pays $2.50 for Michael Jackson
Fountain pen proves much more trouble than its worth

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