Archive for the ‘A Christmas Greeting’ Category

I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday
greeting but it is so difficult in today’s world to know
exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met
with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I want
to say to all of you: Please accept with no obligation,
implied or implicit my best wishes for an
environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress,
non-addictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable
traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or
secular practices of your choice, with respect for the
religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of
others, or their choice not to practice religious or
secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally
successful, personally fulfilling, and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally
accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for
the calendars of choice of other cultures whose
contributions to society have helped make America great (not
to imply that America is necessarily greater than any
other country or is the only “AMERICA” in the western
hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed,
color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual
preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting,
you are accepting these terms: This greeting is
subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It
implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement
any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is
void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the
sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to
perform as expected within the usual application of
good tidings for a period of one year, or until the
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes
first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this
wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion
of the wisher.

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