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Archive for July 10th, 2010

Two elderly residents, a man and a woman, were sitting alone in the lobby of their nursing home one evening. The old man looked over and said to the old lady, “I know just what you’re wanting. For $5 I’ll do it with you right over there in that rocking chair.”

The old lady looked surprised but didn’t say a word.

The old man continued, “For $10 I’ll do it with you on that nice soft sofa over there, but for $20 I’ll take you back to my room, light some candles, and give you the most romantic evening you’ve ever had in your life.”

The old lady still says nothing but after a couple minutes, starts digging down in her purse. She pulls out a wrinkled $20 note and holds it up.

“So you want the nice romantic evening in my room,” says the old man.

“Get serious,” she replies. “Four times in the rocking chair.”

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A government employee sat in his office, and out of boredom, decided to see what was inside his old filing cabinet. He poked through the contents and came across an old brass lamp. “This will look good on my mantel,” he said, and took it home with him.

While polishing the lamp, a genie appeared and, as usual, granted him three wishes.

“I would like an ice-cold Coke right now.” He gets his Coke and drinks it. Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. “I wish to be on an island with beautiful women, who find me irresistible.”

Suddenly, he’s on an island with gorgeous women eyeing him lustfully. He tells the genie his third and last wish. “I wish I’d never have to work again.” Instantly, he was back in his government office.

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