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Archive for March, 2009

Mothering Sunday U.K. 23rd March 2009

In lieu of the holiday, I thought I’d share a Mother’s Day joke. Did YOUR mother say any of these? (I know mine did!) Happy Mother’s Day everyone!

Things I learned from my Mother

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.”

2. My mother taught me about RELIGION.
“You better pray that will come out of the carpet.”

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
“If you don’t straighten up, I’m going to knock you into the middle of next week!”

4. My mother taught me about LOGIC.
“Because I said so, that’s why.”

5. My mother taught me about FORESIGHT.
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident..”

6. My mother taught me about IRONY.
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.”

7. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.”

8. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
“This room of yours looks like a tornado went through it.”

9. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!”

10. My mother taught me about the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
“I brought you into this world, and I can take you out.”

11. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
“Stop acting like your father!”

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Idiots Joke

Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen, while his car was in the garage. When he got into it, he found out it would not start. So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement. This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guys was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. “What’s the trouble?” he asked. After taking a look, he said; “No wonder it won’t start someone stole the engine.” “But don’t worry” he said, “I have an extra in my trunk you can borrow”.

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