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Archive for January, 2009

A divorced billionaire was ordered by the Court to hand over a 49% share of his Corporation to his ex-wife. The Billionaire, we will call him Sam, was actively involved in acquiring properties wherever he chose. At an annual Board Meeting with his executives, the company stockholders, minus the ex-wife, were reviewing the land acquisitions during the time since Sam’s divorce was finalized. They started a discussion of each property, one by one. “Fish Haven, Idaho, I see the aggression expression on that purchase”, the one executive commented. Sam gave his nod of admission of its truth. The next company man made his statement, “Dog Walk, Kentucky”, “Again we have an aggression expression, don’t we Sam?” Sam concurred with that fact again. “Horse heads, New York,” and the company man said, “Aggression Expression with DRAMATIC innuendo!” Sam was all too willing to say yes and be understood as an angry and vengeful man. The next property on the roster was Canton, Ohio. “Canton, Ohio?” asked the 4th company man, “I don’t see any sign of your conveyance of your indignation, to your ex, on this property name.” Sam replied, “No, this acquisition was just to say I love Chinese food.”

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Cat and Dog

A dog was chasing a neighboring cat around the block. The dog soon had the cat flattened. What did the cat say…?

Me-Owww!!!

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A New Years Pray

Dear Lord

So far this year I’ve done well.

I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help.

Amen

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New Years Dinner

As in many homes on New Year’s Day, my wife and I faced the annual conflict of which was more important – the football games on television, or the dinner itself. To keep peace, I ate dinner with the rest of the family, and even lingered for some pleasant after-dinner conversation before retiring to the family room to turn on the game.

Several minutes later, my wife came downstairs and graciously even bought a cold drink for me. She smiled, kissed me on the cheek and asked what the score was. I told her it was the end of the third quarter and that the score was still nothing to nothing.

“See?” she said, continuing to smile, “You didn’t miss a thing.”

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