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Archive for April 20th, 2008

Only in America

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare
and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire
among other things.

Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of
these great cigars and without yet having made even
his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer
filed claim against the insurance company.

In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost
“in a series of small fires.” The insurance company
refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the
man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion.

Unbelievably, the lawyer sued … and won!

In delivering the ruling the judge agreed with the
insurance company that the claim was frivolous.

The Judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held
a policy from the company in which it had warranted
that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed
that it would insure them against fire, without
defining what is considered to be “unacceptable
fire,”
and was obligated to pay the claim.

Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process,
the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid
$15,000 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars
lost in the “fires.”

NOW FOR THE BEST PART…

After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance
company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!

With his own insurance claim and testimony from
the previous case being used against him, the
lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning
his insured property and was sentenced to 24
months in jail and a $24,000 fine.

This is a true story and was the 1st place winner
in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest!

Isn’t life ironic!Wink

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Holiday Wishes

Holiday Wishes

If I had 1 wish this Christmas, it would be for all the children of the world
to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.

If I had 2 wishes this Christmas, it would be for:
1. All the Children of the world to sing together
2. $1,000,000 tax free

If I had 3 wishes this Christmas:
1. Kids singing together
2. $1,000,000 tax free per year for life
3. To have all encompassing power over the universe

If I had 4 wishes this Christmas:
1. The crap about the kids
2. $1,000,000
3. All encompassing power
4. 1 extended orgasm to last 30 days, brought about by 2 supermodels and, of
course, my wife

Let’s face it, the logistics of getting all those kids together is impossible.
So, let’s rearrange
1. All encompassing power
2. The orgasm
3. The money

OH! I forgot to strike down my enemies. Okay, so we add that in.

Now, my wish this Christmas would be:

1. The power
2. To strike down my enemies, may they die like pigs in h*ll
3. The orgasm
4. The Money
5. And with my fifth wish this holiday season I would like for all the children
of the world to join together in peace and love and sing in harmony.

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Honeymoon

A man and his wife were on their honeymoon. The husband took off his pants and handed them to his wife.

“See if they fit.”

“They don’t.”

“Now you see who will wear the pants in this house.” She thought a little while, and took off her panties and asked him to try them on.

“I can’t get into these.”

“And you won’t, either, with that attitude.”

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